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The heaviest element known to science was recently discovered by physicists at a British government research laboratory. The element, tentatively called Administratium, has no protons or electrons and thus has an atomic number of zero.
Catalog #A0900
However, it does have 1 neutron, 125 assistant neutrons, 75 vice-neutrons and 111 assistant vice-neutrons. This gives it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together in a nucleus by a force that involves the continuous exchange of meson-like particles called morons.
Since it has no electrons, Administratium is inert. However, it can be detected chemically, as it impedes every reaction it comes into contact with. According to discoverers, a minute amount of Administratium caused one reaction to take more than four days to complete, when it would normally occur in less than a second. Administratium has a normal half life of approximately three years, at which time it does not actually decay, but instead undergoes reorganization in which neutrons, vice-neutrons, and assistant vice-neutrons exchange places.
Some studies have shown that the atomic mass actually increases after every reorganization. Research at other laboratories indicates that Administratium occurs naturally in the atmosphere. It tends to concentrate at certain points such as government agencies, large corporations and universities, and can even be found in the newest, best-appointed and best-maintained buildings.
Scientists point out that Administratium is known to be toxic at any level of concentration and can easily destroy any productive reactions where it is allowed to accumulate.
(Winter 1994 issue of "Motion Control")
See also
M2170, Man
W5000, Woman

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